11:23

#effyourbeautystandards

I wrote a post on body shaming not too long ago, and the response was incredible. I am a feminist, and that is something I am incredibly proud of. I firmly believe that women are strong and powerful and deserve to be treated equally and fairly not only by the opposite sex but by each other. Unfortunately, amongst other things, women are exceptionally good at tearing each other down.


I was upset the other day when one particular tweet of mine seemed to cause a huge amount of controversy. It voiced my opinion on '#effyourbeautystandards'. If you aren't already aware, this trend was sparked by size 22 plus sized model Tess Munster, who posted a series of revealing pictures of herself on social media promoting the idea that beauty is not defined by numbers. I wholeheartedly agree with the true message that Tess was trying to promote, but somewhere in the abyss of twitter that message was replaced with thousands of girls posting their own '#effyourbeautystandards' pictures along with captions such as 'I will never try to be skinny again', 'size zero is disgusting' and 'say no to silly annorexic and bulemic models'. Tess was trying to prove the point that beauty is not defined by size, but somewhere along the line people seem to have confused this with the idea that she is promoting plus size as the only acceptable body shape. Why is societies' perception of beauty continually being prioritised over health? It is quite clear that someone of a size 22 is at just as much risk of serious health conditions as someone who is a size zero.

What began to happen, (and I'm sure this was not Tess's intention at all), was that girls started to skinny shame people who couldn't conform to this new idealised perception of beauty. There was one particular tweet that really resonated with me due to it's unbelievably degrading content. It said; 'Bones are for dogs, the meat is for real mean #effyourbeautystandards'.  

Let's clear some things up: 

1. There is NO DIFFERENCE between implying that a fat person is ugly and implying that a skinny person is ugly. You are calling a person ugly. That is not ok. Just don't.

2. If people object to size zero models as they believe that the body shape encourages young influential girls to aspire to a body image which may not be natural or healthy for them, then what is the difference between aspiring to be a size 22? That size is equally as unhealthy and unnatural for most women. Why can't we promote loving what you are and who you are, and most importantly promote a healthy and sustainable lifestyle instead of claiming that anyone who does not conform to either extreme is not beautiful.

3. Annorexia and bulemia are serious illnesses and are not things to joke about. Just because you are skinny does not automatically mean you suffer from an eating disorder. Using an illness as an insult against that person is dehumanising and wrong. Again, just don't.

The point I am really trying to make is that I wish girls would stop competing with each other, stop glorifying a particular body shape or size and in the process diminish someone else's self confidence. What is important is your health, not the number sewn into the clothes you are wearing. You deserve to be respected, you deserve to be happy and most importantly you deserve to be healthy. 
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46 comments

  1. Glorification of skinny from the media hasn't helped, along with their punishing headlines against curvy women. I think it's super hard to find 'what's right' in accordance with the media and a lot of people get sucked into that... If only we could ditch what the shitty tabloids are telling us, and like you say accept ourselves. I'm a size 10-12, this used to upset me, but recently I have become more accepting of it, I wish others would accept themselves too!

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    1. I couldn't agree more, I wish we could just put aside how we are supposed to look and feel and support a healthy lifestyle instead xx

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  2. I absolutely agree with you, Amy! Skinny-shaming annoys me to no end!

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  3. Totally agree - skinny shaming is equally as bad as fat shaming - #effyourbeautystandards is about accepting all bodies. xx

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  4. Couldn't agree more with you! It's really sad when people see eating disorders as a way to lose weight, rather than a mental illness. Girls should empower and compliment each other! :)

    Angela | The Sunday Chapter

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    1. I agree! it's so lovely to hear from people who agree that we should all support each other instead of finding flaws xx

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  5. I completely agree with this post Amy! I think it's great that people are embracing curvier figures and challenging the typical, slim girl beauty standards portrayed by the media. That being said, I think body-shaming of any kind is completely wrong. I'm a UK size 8/10 and am by no means 'skinny' but have actually been told to, 'eat a burger' by some ignorant idiots. I have a healthy, balanced diet and I think that is the most important thing, size is irrelevant! xxx

    Kirsty - Effortlessly Excessive

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    1. aw thank you so much!! it's so horrible when people say comments like that! xx

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  6. Good post. It's such a controversial topic, but I think you've handled this really well. I've read a few posts on this now, most saying well done her for trying to break the typical "model" mould, but also 1 that said what she is promoting isn't healthy either… Surely by now we all realise that there are so many different shapes / sizes / colours / races that to have "1 ideal" is silly! xx

    Rock On Holly

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  7. Yes! Every woman is a 'real woman' regardless of body size and as long as you are happy and healthy then it's really not anybody's place to say anything negative! Great post :)

    www.georgienicks.blogspot.co.uk

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  8. I think weight is such a sensitive topic when relating to any size, I don't think it's fair to criticize anyone for how they are because if they're happen then that is up to them. I loved this post, I think everyone should just accept each other for who they are!x

    infinity of fashion// Lucy Jane

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  9. I completely agree with this!

    I hate it when people also say 'your so skinny' and when you seem to reply with something along the lines of 'i'm really not' and they tell you that you should be grateful as its a complement? As if your being ungrateful people dig at you for not agreeing that your skinny but if you were to agree, you would still be digged at for being big headed! Your size doesn't define you and along as your comfortable in your skin and healthy its nobody else's business to bring you down! any negativity and spitefulness is a huge sign of jealousy. We need to stop trying to be like other people and concentrate on being the best versions of ourself.

    Such a great post! xx

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    1. I love your reply thank you so much for commenting! I relate so much to this, people just dont seem to realise that calling some one too skinny is just as upsetting as calling someone too fat xx

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    1. Ok, first time I responded to this it sounded too ranty, so I'm going to reply again minus the negativity.
      Basically, I think that the thing the media is forgetting the most at the moment is that every woman on this planet is a 'real woman' whether large or small, fat or skinny, old or young. Therefore, all this real woman propaganda, while obviously for a good cause because everyone should love themselves, is just going about things the wrong way.
      It shouldn't be all about plus size and curvy, it should be about everyone, because as it is at the moment is just breeding too much negativity.

      I think every woman is beautiful no matter their body shape or size, yet if I were to say that I thought overweight women were 'disgusting' or whatever, it would cause total uproar, yet it's ok for others to say it about skinny women.

      #effyourbeautystandards should be more like #effyourdoublestandards.

      LJLV | UK Personal Style

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    2. I could not agree more, a real woman is whatever she wants to be! xxx

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    3. (also absolutely fantastic hashtag) xx

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  11. Amy! You should do a post on FEMBRUARY since you're a feminist too! Do It For The Irony blog is having it trend and you should check out my blog because I wrote a blog post on it too! xx

    http://lilliemysel.blogspot.com

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    1. oooh good idea i will definitely think about doing it! xx

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  12. Yeah, this fat-shaming and skinny-shaming has got to stop. Good post, I think you've made some good points. I think a person of any shape can be beautiful but no one should make themselves feel better by putting other people down, which is what people seemed to be doing under the hashtag #effyourbeautystandards. You need to be happy within yourself and not overly compare yourself to other people!

    Claire // Technicolour Dreamer

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  13. Love this!

    adoorablee.blogspot.com

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  14. I just firmly believe that nobody should ever, ever, EVER comment on another person's body. Unless you are a licensed health professional, who is fully aware of all past histories and conditions of said person, you have no place to tell anyone their body is gross or too skinny or too fat, or that they should "go eat a hamburger", etc. Don't even get me started on girls saying they "wished" they had an eating disorder.

    kendradaale.blogspot.ca

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    1. I know!! I could not agree more, people need to realise that judging people on their appearance is not ok xx

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  15. I agree, and it's something that has been going around a lot now with the first plus sized model in SI, I stumbled into the comments of the post and there was so much back and forth it made my head spin. There were girls fat shaming and calling her unhealthy. (When, let's get real, she's 5"9 and big-boned, with a small waist and curves in the right places, not really the poster child for unhealthy.) And then there are people slamming thin people and glorifying her size, not her body. A size 16 looks great on her because of her body type, it may be unhealthy on someone else of a totally different body type. No matter why size anyone wears, everyone is going to carry it differently, if you're healthy and happy with yourself, that is all that really matters. If you are constantly shaming others for their bodies, you're probably not happy and need to get right with yourself first. Sorry, a bit ranty.xx

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    1. It just feels like girls are determined to attack anyone who doesnt like like they do or has a different opinion of 'beauty' to them, and it's just not right!! I completely agree though! xx

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  16. yes and all about the bass song is horrible as well... They wonder why girls have so much problem with body images, they should start looking into media first hand.

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  17. I have always been slim, and I have been called anorexic multiple times in the past, despite being completely healthy. I find it disgusting that comments like 'you're too skinny' and 'you need to put weight on' are deemed acceptable by so many people - comments like that are so damaging, and for a long time I hated my body and was sick with jealousy, until I realised other people's opinions on my body DO NOT define me. If other people didn't give their two-pence on anything and everything about other people's bodies, every woman would feel great about themselves, which is what every woman deserves. I'm so glad I'm not the only one who feels this way :) x

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    1. I've had the same myself, somehow people just dont understand that these are still hurtful comments. such an amazingly inspiring comment thank you so much for leaving it xx

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  18. great post, these things needed to be said i'm sure! xx



    elly from alldeathbydiamonds

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  19. This post is amazing - I totally agree with you, every
    size is beautiful and saying that one or the other body shape
    isn't "good enough" is so stupid.
    It's also questionable what Meghan Trainor sings in her song "all about that bass" when she
    sings about "skinny bitches" - here we have exactly the same problem: she is shaming one size in order to glorify another. That's really the wrong way to approach this problem: we should accept and appreciate that different sizes exist and that they are all beautiful in their own way.

    dearmisscoco.blogspot.de

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  20. LOOVVEEE this post! It's so good when people talk about things like this!

    Jess x
    New post up at // www.momentsofbeautywars.blogspot.co.uk

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  21. I completely agree with everything you said in this post oh my god! And the way people throw about eating disorders oh my god it's so frustrating! I feel like you couldn't have phrased this any better, I love this post x
    Libby-Jade

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    1. thank you lovely! such a lovely comment xx

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  22. Hi Amy, this is quite true. I am sick and tired of people bashing skinny girls in order to praise people of bigger sizes and vice versa. My least favorite sayings are "real women have curves," "real women have meat," and "men don't want skin and bones, they want a real woman with curves." These imply that skinnier women are not real women. I completely agree with the idea that females should learn to not bash each other but instead to promote love for your body and for others no matter your size. I really enjoyed this post.

    xo

    Lin (http://vikariouzlytme.blogspot.com/)
    P.s. I am going to follow your blog so I can get updates whenever you post that way I won't miss your postings. Please feel free to do same for me. Cheers.

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    1. Aw thank you for such a lovely comment, I completely agree! and thanks for following lovely xx

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